Everything a man of a certain age needs to know to hit this week full of useless and useful information. You’re welcome.

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The genius, Gary Larson’s alternative take on concrete shoes, in The Far Side.

Betrayal ticking in your very own chest

Some disturbing news from Wired, where it’s reported that a man’s internal pacemaker betrayed him in court, squealing like a pig in front of the judge. The problem being, I guess, that if you decided to avenge the betrayal by giving the pacemaker ‘concrete shoes’, you’d be even more screwed. We live in complex times, my friends.

How a whiny little tennis brat could inspire us all

I know, right! It’s unlikely but Tim Boyle, an ex-AFL player and an under-recognised writer (for ours) at Fairfax has found some interesting musings on boredom in the wake of Tomic’s Wimbledon melt-down a couple of weeks ago. Hell, if you can’t be bothered reading, at least ponder this quoted tweet from British philosopher Alain de Botton in the piece: ‘Anyone who isn’t embarrassed by who they were a year ago probably isn’t learning enough.’

You’re not drinking enough water

You already know this. We all know this. About 12 articles a year lecture us about this. But here’s the latest one. (I have noticed recently that my skin is drying out as I get older, which might be why I clicked on this article, against my usual stubbornness.) TL;DR? Ideally, a man should drink eight glasses a day.

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A glass of water. The goodytwoshoes cousin of single malt whisky.

The animal kingdom (not the disturbing film) (i)

Ever wondered how to move an elephant from one country to another, if it doesn’t feel like walking? You do it like this.

The animal kingdom (not George of the Jungle) (ii)

Or if you feel like your job is boring, maybe you should consider signing up to helichopper into African poaching zones with a fucking badass parachuting pooch! (At the GiantsAmongMen office, our resident dog’s latest and greatest achievement was eating koala poo off the road while in the bush on the weekend. I mean, seriously. WTF?)

Click here for parachuting anti-poaching hero dogs. (That might be the greatest sentence we’ve ever written)

Speaking of intense situations:

Ever wondered what it looks like when a riot cop shoots tear gas at you? It looks a lot like this amazing photo from the Washington Post’s pics of the week. Holy crap.

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and finally, dream of summer …

In the northern hemisphere, it’s summer, which means people are looking to keep cool. Like this beach in Morocco.

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Lots of peace and quiet on this tranquil Moroccan beach. (Pic Washington Post)

Or this river in China.

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Just in case you were taking for granted how beautiful, and roomy, Australian beaches are. Only one month and one day until Spring, gentlemen.

 

(Featured image: the World Santa Claus Congress, happening now in Copenhagen. I saw a tweet on the weekend that suggested: ‘If Christmas can be in July, surely gays can get married.’)

 

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