Ever have that feeling you’re putting one foot in front of the other?

Phoning it in at work? Wondering why everybody else has the energy for side hustles*, part time MBAs or doctorates, and hobbies?

Maybe you just need to make it to the Christmas holidays for a gentle reboot and some sleep.

Or maybe you really do need to shake things up. If so, we’ve done the initial legwork and, hey, this is GiantsAmongMen, so we’re not about to settle for your everyday seachange. We’re going bigger! As they say in the classics: More cowbell!

You’re welcome … (and if you DO happen to get inspired and take up any of these, the deal is you have to write an article or create a video of your new life for GiantsAmongMen, ok? Deal? Great.)

( *  I love that phrase)

BUY A GIANT LOBSTER

The town of Kingston SE is at the southern end of the magnificent Coorong National Park, in South Australia, where Storm Boy was filmed and where you can take awesome Instagram selfies of you looking like an Arcade Fire music video extra on pink salt lakes.

But that’s not important right now. What is essential is that the town’s iconic giant lobster is for sale.

Screenshot 2017-12-04 16.51.53
Larry the Lobster: he could be yours.

Yes, you read that right. One of this nation’s magnificent Giants Things could be yours.

Think Woombye’s The Giant Pineapple, Coff’s Harbour’s The Giant Banana, all the giant novelties that Australians love … how often does one come up for sale?

Screenshot 2017-12-04 16.52.22
Oh, hey, neighbours!

For well under $400k (that would roughly buy you the garage of most properties for sale in Melbourne or Sydney these days), Kingston’s giant lobster – oh, with an attached reception centre and restaurant but whatevs – was available at the time of hitting the ‘publish’ button.

Apparently the lobster’s name is Larry and he hovers menacingly over the very start of the Great Ocean Road before it heads off towards Robe and eventually Victoria.

Looking at the pictures, you certainly wouldn’t have to worry about burglars.

Is Glacierchange a thing?

Yes is the answer. Yes, it is.

For anybody who thinks working for the weather bureau would only involve drinking tea, wearing cardigans and making slightly wrong forecasts about whether it will rain each day, think again.

Screenshot 2017-12-04 17.13.33
Where’s the cafe with the avocado toast and really interesting single origin filter coffee again?

The Australian Government’s Bureau of Meteorology is currently advertising a couple of jobs as Technical Officers (levels four and two) in Antarctica. Yes, the big white cold place near South South South South Hobart.

It sounds pretty wild. This is no halfarsed commute, my friends. You’d be there from somewhere between late October 2018 and April 2019 until 14 to 18 months later, playing cards with penguins and occasionally sticking a slightly frostbitten finger out the window and then radioing Australia to say: ‘It’s very cold. And with a chance of snow. Over.’

Well, there might be more involved but I didn’t read the job ad completely.

Screenshot 2017-12-04 17.13.53
Antarctic peak hour: intense.

Penguins, whales and hopefully not co-sharing a hut with a guy from day one who rocks and mutters about squirrels. In fact, the final line of the advert says it all: ‘As an expeditioner, you will undergo rigorous pre-deployment assessments to determine your suitability to the extreme environment and isolated community.’

You’re a long way from the daily freeway traffic crush at that point, hey?

What else have you got?

It can be hard to truly change your life. Put it this way, I typed ‘danger’ as a search category into Seek and look what came up:

Screenshot 2017-12-04 17.17.02
Type ‘danger’ into Seek and hoo boy!

 

I felt like I’d stumbled into the Monty Python Lion Tamer sketch.

I went looking for the most dangerous job in Australia and came up with agriculture, forestry and fishing, with 52 deaths and 3410 serious injuries in 2015 (Safe Work Australia).

Or, if you want a less lethal reboot, you could maybe apply for a job in the Kiwirrkurra, described as Australia’s most remote community, 850 km west of Alice Springs. 

Be like The Rock

If all of this sounds too hard, just be like everybody else and shake shit up by getting a tattoo. But if you’re going to do it, be like The Rock. Say what you like about Dwayne Johnson, 45, but he doesn’t mess around. When The Rock got inked, The Rock got motherfucking inked.

Screenshot 2017-12-05 09.37.46
The Rock’s new ink. Yowzer.

‘The core and anchor of this image is in the eye,’ he explained. ‘Look closely and you’ll find the life, energy, power and you’ll feel the MANA (spirit). The eye tells the story of a disruptive positive energy always ready to dent the universe.

‘Depending on the light and angle, sometimes the energy’s subtle and sometimes it’s glaring. But it’s always alive and ready to disrupt the universe and love and protect my family and all things I love with intense passion and gratitude.

‘Cheers to living, learning, evolving and growing. And to the positive disrupters ready to dent the universe.’

Well said, Rock. Over to you, thrill seekers.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements